Unseated – An Iowa Post-Mortem

What a ride so far, am I right?

The Republican clown car of a Presidential campaign has a few open seats now.

Herman Cain, a moustached gentleman with a penchant for getting up on stage and shouting “Nine, nine, nine!” (I wonder what happened to the last moustached gentleman who got up on stage shouting “Nein, nein, nein!”?) dropped out when his history of philandering came to light and the campaign came apart.

Michelle Bachman demonstrated a surprising amount of good judgement and acknowledged that her campaign has been over ever since Rick perry entered the race.

But what about the other clowns?

Goodhair Perry and last placer Huntsman get to don the sad clown makeup.

Newt’s spectacular comeback ignited by the departure of Cain and the stumble of Perry petered out when voters realized why they had abandoned him before (“He’s boring!”) when his staff fled to join the then-as-yet-unannounced Rick Perry campaign.

Which leaves the three frontrunners:

Mitt Romney, the richest white man in a field of rich white men.  Too electable (liberal) for the fringe elements that make up the base of the modern Republican party, but pandering enough and mostly squeaky clean enough to get by.

Man on DogSantorum, recipient of the bouncing people, who bounced from Bachman, to Cain, then to Perry as each one flamed out, often spectacularly.  His big promise to not have sex with dogs while in the White house seems a little like a solution in search of a problem, though.

And finally, the guy for whom no crackpot theory is too cracked to cook with, the guy who totally wants government out of our lives except if it is enforcing some sort of morality, the man with two first names, Ron Paul.  Actually, I was a bit disappointed by Paul’s performance, but then with Santorum in the race, Paul doesn’t have the exclusive on crazy.


OK, all snark aside (at least for a moment), is this really the best field of candidates the Republicans can put forth?  Wow.

Here is my prediction for the horse race ahead:

Hutnsman will eventually recognize the inevitable and bow out.

Perry is now in it to be the southern VP to “Tea Party”-up the inevitable Romney ticket, and be a Dan Quale for the 21st century.

Santorum will inevitably flame out as has his bouncing predecessors – something totally stupid or immoral that will come to light with his newfound spotlight.

Which will leave Ron Paul as the flag-bearer for the crazies.

If Paul wins the nomination, I have no idea who his running mate will be.

If Romney wins, he’ll probably choose from Paul or Perry, most likely Perry.

Oh, looks like I forgot Newt, just like voters will.  I expect he still has another comeback in him, before the voters once again realize he’s boring. 

But then again, John McCain was 4th place in Iowa in 2008 and he ended up clinching the nomination…


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3 Responses to “Unseated – An Iowa Post-Mortem”

  1. Ryan Sanford Smith Says:

    Pretty solid analysis, though I don’t think Perry will be the VP pick; he just doesn’t have the presence Romney would want, he doesn’t bring anything to the ticket. Romney will need someone who can help consolidate and energize the base, and he has better options that Perry, who would basically be only slightly less moronic than a Palin / Bachmann pick.

    • politicallyme Says:

      I see a Romney/Perry alliance as similar to the JFK and LBJ ticket – the “liberal” northerner and the “conservative” southerner, with the added benefit of assassination insurance, as Dan Quayle was seen as for George the First.

      I don’t know how seriously to take myself on either of those, but they do make reasonable analogies.

  2. What A Day « Politically Me Says:

    […] I said before that Newt, who was dropping in the polls, would have another resurgence, and here it is.  We’ll see if it lasts. […]

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